-Maya Angelou
Sometimes I wish I were a Catholic
April 10, 2008People close to me know that I’m an agnostic, because I do believe in a higher being.
But I wasn’t always that way. Here’s short history of my religious life.
I studied in Saint Jude Catholic School, where we had required regular anticipated mass every Saturday.
I used to go to church sporadically in Union Church (even if I don’t believe in the Christian God now, I’d love to go back and listen to the speakers, great community!) , some churches in Binondo, and another one in Ermita.
I study in Ateneo de Manila University, which included 4 classes of Theology in it’s core curriculum (of which I’m doing rather horribly.)
But I’m an agnostic, the short of it is in two points that I may elaborate on some day
1. I’m Chinoy so religion in my family blurs the between Catholic and Buddhist. Sto. Nino juxtaposed beside Buddha, yeah
So it just didn’t make sense to me, you know how it is kids learning "Thou shall not have any gods beside me…" and "So does that mean my parents are going to hell? And, me too?" lol
2. All religion is created; by human beings, and therefore may be flawed. It’s better to be spiritual than religious. Follow the way of the Dao!
Anyway given these two arguments I have chosen to talk the path of the agnostic, which isn’t leading me anywhere.
There are several things that prompted me to blog about this. One is a couple of texts I get from time to time regarding the Catholic God, and another is a 25th year wedding anniversary I attended. It wasn’t the usual anniversary celebration though, as there were roughly-speaking homilies, praise and worship music, and sharings. It is inspiring to see a couple stick together through thick and thin for 25 years. The happy couple explained that they owed everything to God. And how much God has been in their lives when times were rough.
You see, I’m getting this vibe that people with strong faith lead balanced lives. And indeed it seems so, some of my lovable groupmates are devote Christians. And it shows with the way they conduct themselves and their choices in life. These people LOOK happier and FEEL happier. The aura is quite tangible.
I guess it’s liberating to say "Whatever happens, I’ll lift it up to you, Lord." To surrender yourself to something only you can trust, to have true FAITH in something.
And I’m yearning for that, that "balance" in my life. I want to commune with a higher power. Ok maybe that sounded a bit off but you get the point.
As an agnostic, where do I draw my faith from? The same problems are there with religion that it cannot be really proved. Except with religion you have a more concrete idea as to whom you are worshipping. I’m groping in the dark for all the pride I have in my reasoning.
*Another bonus for being a Catholic, church!!!!! I mean it has to be a sign right, two of my friends met their partners in church. So… Me + _____ = girlfriend becomes Me + church = girlfriend. Right? ^_^ No offense to the devout Catholics. I do have respect for religion, and have no plans of going to church just to pick up girls. [yet]
Previous Comments
Hi, thanks for visiting my page.
You see, I am Catholic but I’m not religious either. I don’t go to church that often. I don’t attend pastoral meetings, etc. When I said faith, I meant a firm belief in the order of the universe. Not necessarily about a God. Even though I do talk to a higher power. I just know that somehow there is a power keeping me alive.
You will find that faith in yourself. It doesn’t matter what about. It could be faith in people, faith in your goodness or in your talents. It doesn’t hurt to start from there.
I can’t really share my exact experiences in a public domain. Contact me if you have any more questions.
Posted by alia at April 10, 2008, 10:05 amI believe in God, whether I believe in Church is another matter.
People have different kinds of “faith” though I sometimes envy people who can trust “God” and in their religion completely.
Either way, sometimes it takes time understand. ^^, i guess we just have to wait and see but keep an open mind
Posted by touchingyourbackXD at April 10, 2008, 4:33 pmfaith, i believe, is quite individualistic. You’d have to discover things by yourself. That’s how it worked and is working for me.
I agree with the person above though, believing in God and believing in the Church are totally different matters. As I see it, any religions are bound to have some down-sides because as we know, it’s just humans who made them up.
I may sound blasphemous and all but I don’t care a shit, I think religion is more like a social institution, you get to know people and stuff but when you want to get a deeper understanding of what you really believe in, you’d have to hit the road on your own. Although of course religions can serve as a sort of the “first step,” it is always better to look at it through different lenses.
I totally disagree, however, with people who think science and faith/religion do not go along very well. That is not the case, they’re actually quite complementary, but it just needs open eyes and an open mind to see this.
People may disagree with me, I understand that, because like everybody else, I’m grasping things in the dark. But why would you just leave things hanging when in fact you can do something and think on your own:P
And as a famous Bible quote goes:
“Seek and ye shalt find. Ask and ye shalt be given.”
Seek for the truth and you’ll find it.
Cheers mate!
Posted by Shaira at April 10, 2008, 6:18 pmThe idea of a religion is one which is a product of the human mind. But even though everything else may appear to be social constructs, except of course the “brute facts” that we may know of, I still bow down, though not in a literal context, to a Higher Being.
I was born and raised a Catholic, yet I rarely practice religious activities, if they be called that way. So does that make me an agnostic? Well, I want to think I am one.
There are a few things, or questions, which interest me the most.
If the Bible tells us about God’s words, who can tell for certain that those were really God’s words? Lest we forget, the devil, according to the Bible, can disguise itself in many ways and pretend to be God in many ways, too.
But before I begin to sound like an avid reader of the Bible, it’s not only the Catholic Bible that I’ve read so far. I was also able to read a few portions of the Quoran.
Posted by spliceanddice at April 10, 2008, 10:34 pmI am Catholic, but for me, religiosity and faith are two different things. I invest on the latter.
I am a practicing Catholic, but I am not a religious person. I go to mass not because it is my Sunday obligation but because I want to — I want to ’see’ God. Even if most guest priests in our parish suck in giving homilies, haha!
There are many Catholic practices and beliefs that I personally find questionable. But at the end of the day, I know that I am only answerable to the higher being I believe in. As long as mabuti akong tao, yun naman ang mas importante diba?
PS. Thanks for visiting my blog and sharing a comment.
Posted by REX at April 12, 2008, 3:10 pmas long as you believe that there is a higher being who takes over everything is fine…regardless of religion …what is religion if one cannot respect his fellow men… such as iranians and syrians…. and also those catholic priests who rape innocent children or helpless mothers… it’s all about respect. not religion.it’s about what you believe in not what they make you believe.
have a good one!
Posted by cai at April 13, 2008, 11:46 amwhat what what are you guys talking about? If there is anything more obvious than you reading this, it is the NATURE of MAN to be RELIGIOUS… it is such a common phenomenon all over the world that despite having different cultures and separated lands, man in his separation from one another finds universality in being religious that atheism is the abnormality.
NOW. Given this presupposition, HOW, HOW can you say that RELIGION is man-made if there such is an intrinsic need for man to submit himself to a Superior Being?
From this platform, yes religion comes about through the intrinsically embedded “tendency” (for lack of better term) of man to be religous, but not from the pure necessity of society, hence a social construct, nor from the so called autonomous rationalization of man (for there is no such thing) which would prompt some to call religion as a “product of the human mind”, which is synonymous to saying “God is a mental construct”. Shame!
There is only one Truth, and when it comes to Truth, and when you believe the Truth, there is no compromise. The Catholic Church is the One True Church, the only religion which operates on both logic and reason. The Children of the Church can be flawed (like priests, bishops, the laity, etc), but the Church, the institution which Jesus founded Himself is Immaculately Perfect.
How can people BELIEVE without knowing, how can people be faithful but not religious?
*Let’s keep things civil :p Just preempting it.
I find that the nature of man isn’t to be religious but to know. It makes perfect sense as the most primitive historically-speaking of religions, worshiping the elements, explains it perfectly.
Imagine the cave people as they go about making heads and tails of their world. The things that they can sense and observe, they explain. For example water is wet and fire is hot. But for things that they cannot explain they deem them as gods worthy of worship and sacrifice.
Oh what the heck am I doing, this is going to be hard to understand.
I’m making a new post!
Posted by ozy at April 16, 2008, 1:38 amAND Oh, how very many obvious reasons, and not just out of non-explanation, that man KNOWS that there IS God.
Whether it is a rock, or the sun, or the tree or the stars, man by nature submits himself to something he would consider superior. Some people even worship money. Knowledge does not presuppose this fact, rather, it compliments it.
Posted by pitasyo at April 16, 2008, 11:13 pmEr yes…that’s what agnostics do…
I’m not denying that.
I thought you were defending the Catholic aspect…
Did you get to read the new post? You didn’t reply there kasi…
The lay-out of comments, when you’re discussing something, isn’t very pretty.
Posted by Ozy at April 17, 2008, 12:08 ampeople describe themselves as writers, mothers, dreamers—but why describe yourself as agnostic? i think a person’s views on religion is just an addendum to who the person IS, but it should not make all of him. there are so many things to be, to do, to think, to say. being agnostic, atheist, catholic, or zoroastrian is a dead-end definition of yourself.
in other words: it don’t worry your pretty heads too much about it.
Posted by liz at April 23, 2008, 1:09 pmI’m not sure what to make of your comment. Tone-wise.
This addendum that you mentioned is something that bothers me. It isn’t exactly something I’m describing myself as, that would be pretty boring. What the heck would an agnostic do for a living?
To summarize what my concern was in the previous post, I was looking for faith. I compared myself with my Catholic friends who have strong faiths and are objectively “happier” and more inspired than me. Everybody wants to be happy. And I figured that it was something like faith that inspires them, that makes them go through life with an extra bounce.
Being an agnostic, I came to wonder about where I could draw such faith. So… there? It isn’t a matter of definition at all.
Posted by ozy at April 23, 2008, 2:35 pminteresting…
the term agnostic helped me a lot…
you know…in Hs I label my self as a nonbeliever or a nonreligious… its kinda awkward… I studied in UST where they consider everything that can’t be found in the doctrines of any philosophers/saints/apostles etc…as evil…
hey…I’m an agnos…but it doesn’t mean that I worship the devil… and I hate when people react like that whenever they discover it. A friend asked if something really bad happened to me that made me loss my faith… no… I’m good with my family… with my friends and my community…
the catholics can renounce their faith…they even post bible passages on their buildings.. and money…but when an infidel come onto the way…everything else breaks…
my mom simply explained ‘if you debate about religion, you’re nothing!’ Indeed, religion is a personal endeavor…everyone has their unique beliefs…
Posted by berbux at May 8, 2008, 8:41 am


What is it do you need in order to believe? What are you looking for? You’d have to answer those questions first right in order to find that higher power to commune with.
Posted by alohapenny at April 10, 2008, 6:52 am